Successful Women and Their Men

This post is a rant.

For a lot of people I know, personal success is measured by how much money they have in the bank. For a group of people (I believe I belong to this group), personal success looks like a woman that is doing what she loves, in a sustainable manner that not only leaves positive impact in the world around her but also pays her what she deserves for her labour. I know and follow a good number of successful women, I am inspired by their ambition and knowledge, by the way they navigate this male-dominated world.

Social media and its attendant influencers play a huge role in shaping the lives of those that use social media, most mainstream role models have a social media presence and speaking from a purely business perspective, it makes sense to be in the forefront of your target market by way of personal advertisement. We live in a post-anonymity world, most people have recorded their own identifying data on the internet for the world to see and you know what they say about the internet…what you put out never goes away (even after you delete it).

This post is a rant. I want to talk about this new trend whereby the archetypal successful woman on social media has taken to constantly displacing herself in favour of the man in her life on her channels (Instagram). This is counterproductive for the female cause. Young women are looking up to you and you are providing a service, we know about affiliate marketing and those cheques you occasionally receive for patronizing the brands you wear etc.

We really are not interested in knowing that your husband is looking after his own children, neither are we interested in seeing screenshots of the very personal messages you and your boyfriend exchange. We believed you the first time you told us about him, please don’t inundate us with this man-signaling thing you’ve got going on. WE gave you the spotlight because we love YOU, we also acknowledge that your man is a part of who you are but please tone it all the way down, or better still encourage him to open his own social media channels. Thank you.

On behalf of all of us looking up to you,
J.

The Manual: How Man Must Live

Ayodeleokeys's Blog

Some years ago in my early teens when I was still in secondary school, one of the video game consoles that was reigning was the Play station Portable (PSP), its functions were not so different from the playstation 1 or 2 except that you could go everywhere with your PSP. Anyway, after much pestering and making a deal of getting a particular grade, my dad bought me one. I was still in school when it was bought and I was a boarder so I had to wait till the holidays before I could get my hands on it. Just like any other video game console that needs either a C.D or Cartridge to function, my new PSP also needed something, a UMD (universal media disc), a UMD was quite different from every other one because you could handle any other game console CD but a UMD wasn’t handled like that…

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A Living Sacrifice

Ayodeleokeys's Blog

Surgical operations are quite fascinating, I’ve had to undergo a couple so let me share an experience. After the diagnosis or should I say the identification of the problem with the patient, certain tests are run and then after due process a surgery date is fixed. Surgical operations take place in a theater and the patient is required to wear certain type of clothes and also be required not to eat for some hours to keep their bowels empty.

When the patient is wheeled into the  theater and mounted on the surgical bed, the patient is administered something called “Anethesia” and this enables the painless performance of medical procedures that would cause severe or intolerable pain to an unanesthetized patient. It causes the patient to be numb and totally inactive during the surgical process and without this process its hard or almost impossible for the surgeons to work on the…

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Fruit of The Testicle

Aanu had been pregnant before Femi and she made sure he was aware of this fact before going to the altar with him.

They have been married for 5 years and they are yet to give birth to a child.

Aanu read English language at the University of Abuja and graduated with honours. Her goal is to start a Nursery in her neighbourhood in the near future. Her husband Femi has a post-graduate degree in Engineering.  Aanu is from a privileged background and Femi was raised by his rich uncles and aunts. They worship in a popular Pentecostal church in Lagos near where they live. They are Shareholders in several multinationals, they own two cars, Landed property in Femi’s village, and a block of flats on the outskirts of  Lagos with very good tenants that pay them rent on time.

Lately their marriage has been sad and gloomy. It wasn’t always like this.

When they got married in 2011, they were so in love that their close friends and family members could not stop tapping into their marital bliss. Theirs was a story of a match made in heaven. They met at a Bridal shop in Allen Avenue Ikeja. Aanu was shopping for a pair of Silver sandals for her Parent’s 25th Wedding Anniversary and Femi was visiting his cousin Ire at work- Ire owns the shop. He helped her pick the right pair of shoes and he earned himself an invitation to the party. Aanu says it was love at first sight while Ire swears that She is Cupid.

They performed all the medical tests recommended to them by friends and foes before tying the nuptial knot and all their Doctors’ had pronounced them medically compatible.

Last week when Aanu stumbled upon a Comment left by her husband Femi on a popular American Gospel Singer’s Youtube channel, she felt very offended. He had written on a thread of Prayer Requests and he got 55 Likes and 30 Replies from well meaning Believers all around the World.

FEMI P. 6 days ago (edited)
Please pray for my wife to be blessed with the fruit of the womb, we’ve been married for five years and no issue.

Aanu had been pregnant before Femi and she made sure he was aware of this fact before going to the altar with him. He knew all there was to know about her past and he even said he loved her despite it. She also knew his life story so well that she could recite it on command. At least that was what she thought. The Youtube comment sowed a seed of anger and untold frustrations which brought some questions to the forefront of her mind;

1. Was Femi already fathering children elsewhere that he put the blame on her womb?
2. Was he saying that the burden of reproduction lay on her and her alone?
3. Were they no longer in this together?
4. What were her options Post-Femi?
5. Was he, God forbid, saying that her womb could not bear fruits because of her history?

Aanu needed answers. Losing sleep about the situation she decided that the best thing to do was to confront her husband about his Youtube comment.

“AANU C’MON DON’T BE CHILDISH!!! SINCE WHEN DID YOU START POLICING ME ON THE INTERNET? AND IF IT IS MAKING YOU SO ANGRY, THEN MAYBE IT IS TIME FOR US TO DO A FERTILITY TEST! THIS IS CRAZY, I DID NOT EXPECT THIS FROM YOU!” Femi was tired of her passive-aggressiveness anyway, besides, all he was trying to do was to be a good Christian husband to Aanu and she paid back by throwing baseless allegations of adultery and insubordination at him. Aanu was ungrateful, he saw that now. He had had to answer nosy family friends, neighbours and even defend her in front of relatives for five good years when they threw shade at his wife for not giving him a child and this was how she showed her appreciation. He picked up his phone and called their Doctor to schedule an appointment.

Femi was diagnosed with Idiopathic infertility after several scientific and non-scientific methods were used to evaluate him.

Aanu insisted he edit his Youtube comment to “Fruit of The Testicle”, She later forgave him after he apologized for causing their childlessness while being so ignorant about the effect his words had on her. Femi deleted the comment altogether. They decided to start the Nursery earlier than they had planned to because Femi admitted to her that he saw how excited she got when she held other people’s babies: the day he wrote the comment was the day her younger sister Toluwani came visiting with her own toddler. He really just wanted his wife to be happy and somehow, the Christian society he grew up in puts the responsibility of procreation on the woman alone that they even have special Prayer requests and Miracle healing sessions tagged Fruit of the Womb within the Church.

The End.

 

BRAND AMBASSADOR

Originally posted on Facebook

When you see someone that looks like you doing something admirable for example, when you see “your mates” getting first position in class, you automatically want to copy them and be like them isn’t it? Just kidding it’s not automatic.

I researched the topic of “Advertising on the Brain” and found this useful bit of information on this our wonderful internet:

“The concept that advertising, learning and memory are intrinsically related is not new:

Repetition: The old adage “frequency sells” has a biochemical basis. Just like trails through a forest, synaptic pathways become deeper with use.

Association: Anthropologists have long known the power of archetypes. Neurology can now tell us why: A strong synaptic pathway leads the way for a weak one.

Emotion: The emotional center of our brain (Amygdala) releases chemicals that promote the formation of new synaptic pathways”

On that note I just want to say a big Thank You to SERENA WILLIAMS for putting theory into practice by showing the women and girls (through Tennis) with skin the same colour as hers, that they can be The Best in whatever field as long as they are consistent and diligent in their hard work.

If you ever get to read this post, Congratulations on your record Ms Serena. Thank You for REPRESENTING our brand very well. *Udo na Ifunanya!

 


UDO – Igbo – Peace

IFUNANYA – Igbo – Love.

Treasures In Jars Of Clay

Ayodeleokeys's Blog

Lying in my mothers wardrobe is this old looking wooden bowl that always caught my attention way back. When I was much younger, I couldn’t reach it where it was placed so I could only wonder what was in that bowl for a long time. But as time went on I started noticing certain things, that this bowl was brought down on special occasions when my mom has an important outing or event and as I grew older, I was then saddled with the responsibility of bringing down the bowl for her when those special days came and I obviously got my thirst of curiosity quenched when I saw what was in there. LOL She had some of her most priced possessions in that bowl; Her Jewelries. So now I know why it was kept out of reach and wasn’t just used any and everyday.  But one thing I still…

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I AM A BOY (THE SERIES)

HAPPY NIGERIAN INDEPENDENCE! 1/OCTOBER/1960
READ THIS STORY CALLED GREEN WHITE GREEN ON
CHIIDI’S BLOG AND SMILE AS YOU TRAVEL IN TIME

words of ours

GREEN WHITE GREEN

The Nigerian flag makes me feel patriotic, I love my country but our leaders are wicked. I don’t know why they are wicked, all I know is that my mami says they are. She says that they always find a way of taking all our money but I always wonder how they manage to get into the house to do that. I know where mami keeps her money and I used to take 5 naira only. Poor “our leaders”, they are being blamed for what i’ve been doing. Will mami ever find out that it is me and not our leaders who takes her money.
I love the Green,White,Green. It is easy to paint. Whenever my teacher Mrs Aijo tells us to paint our country’s flag, i’ll just use my green pencil, that is all it takes. Thank God i’m not American. I always wonder how the…

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