Successful Women and Their Men

This post is a rant.

For a lot of people I know, personal success is measured by how much money they have in the bank. For a group of people (I believe I belong to this group), personal success looks like a woman that is doing what she loves, in a sustainable manner that not only leaves positive impact in the world around her but also pays her what she deserves for her labour. I know and follow a good number of successful women, I am inspired by their ambition and knowledge, by the way they navigate this male-dominated world.

Social media and its attendant influencers play a huge role in shaping the lives of those that use social media, most mainstream role models have a social media presence and speaking from a purely business perspective, it makes sense to be in the forefront of your target market by way of personal advertisement. We live in a post-anonymity world, most people have recorded their own identifying data on the internet for the world to see and you know what they say about the internet…what you put out never goes away (even after you delete it).

This post is a rant. I want to talk about this new trend whereby the archetypal successful woman on social media has taken to constantly displacing herself in favour of the man in her life on her channels (Instagram). This is counterproductive for the female cause. Young women are looking up to you and you are providing a service, we know about affiliate marketing and those cheques you occasionally receive for patronizing the brands you wear etc.

We really are not interested in knowing that your husband is looking after his own children, neither are we interested in seeing screenshots of the very personal messages you and your boyfriend exchange. We believed you the first time you told us about him, please don’t inundate us with this man-signaling thing you’ve got going on. WE gave you the spotlight because we love YOU, we also acknowledge that your man is a part of who you are but please tone it all the way down, or better still encourage him to open his own social media channels. Thank you.

On behalf of all of us looking up to you,
J.

Diary – IJEOMA W.

Ijeoma shares a story of her family, values, and how she has incorporated higher education as self development in her life’s journey with online learning tools.

4TH MAY 2017, 12:31 AM

Learning is infinite in my family. We go to school, rest small, and then go back to school.

My mommy once said to me “You know in this family we are not traders or “business people”, what we do is book, so please read.” Both my parents have at different points in their lives studied for six degrees (combined), including professional certificate examinations. I have known about online education for a hot while now, at a point when I was in secondary school the dinning table in my house was practically a satellite university campus because my daddy was taking a Master’s degree program from a foreign university via the internet. Last year my Uncle Roman Oseghale graduated from the prestigious Telfer School of Management and Centre for Executive Leadership, University of Ottawa, Canada and last week he was the 8th speaker at The Platform. Essentially, “Book” is central to who I am becoming because my role models figuratively said so.

I took my first online course before I turned 18. The thing about having access and privilege is that if you don’t use it, it would have been a waste. On a rather uneventful day in my dorm room (shouts out to Manuwa Hall, University of Nigeria Enugu Campus), I had the opportunity of stumbling upon this website called COURSERA DOT ORG and I became very interested in learning what I was being taught in the classroom by myself, at least the courses I could find, so I started taking online courses that mirrored what my lecturers were teaching me in the classroom.

Part of it I will attribute to sheer curiosity. Coursera offered courses from Universities I could only dream about at the time, the first one I chose (and completed) was by Duke University, my friend Sanmi Oyenuga was studying Engineering there, I wanted to know what being a student at Duke felt like so I stayed up all night, having physically attended lectures during the day, learning and watching all these free lecture videos on my HP laptop with reliable internet courtesy of the “Lionet @ Manuwa” router that was conveniently mounted very close to the Mango tree whose leaves I could pluck if I put my hand through the pigeonhole in front of my room. The WiFi was strongest at night (back when Lionet was still Lionet, oh the sweet memories).

The internet has been good to me. So far, I have expanded my knowledge base and I am open to learning more about the world around me. I have started this free Bioethics course by Harvard University on edX.org today. It started in April, slated to end in October. I hope I finish it within the stipulated 7 weeks at a personal pace of 2 to 3 hours of study per week. Where I’m from, they measure accomplishments based on how much “Book” you know and how many lives you use your knowledge of “Book” to change for the better. I figured, I have unlimited internet data and I want to be successful in my village so why not take a course? On the 25th of April I watched a movie: “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”, based on a book of same name credited to the incredible medical investigative journalist, Rebecca Skloot, two days ago my Americanah friend Ayi Daniels reminded me of the uproar that is Roe vs Wade and today I signed up for Professor Cohen and the team at HarvardX to school me on Medical Ethics, a course my lecturers have previously taught me in class, just because life is all about patterns, haha.

Thanks for reading to the end, buy yourself a bottle of Fanta!


Originally Posted On Facebook.

MED SCHOOL IS WAR #3 (STRATEGIC OFFENSIVE)

Sun-tzu, The Art of War

“Master Sun said:

Ultimate excellence lies
           Not in winning
           Every battle
           But in defeating the enemy
           Without ever fighting.
           The highest form of warfare
           Is to attack
           Strategy itself;
The next,
            To attack
            Alliances;
The next;
            To attack
            Armies;”

TRANSLATION:
past questions = attacking strategy itself.
Befriending your senior colleagues = attacking alliances.
Inquiring from your mates = attacking armies.
To achieve ultimate excellence, you have to disregard your pride.

“Master Sun said:

The Skillful Strategist
              Cultivates
              The Way
              And preserves
              The law;
              Thus he is master
              Of victory and defeat.”

TRANSLATION: the way is your chosen path, either to Sucess or to Failure.
The law, is the application of your strategy to excel. Thus, winning and losing are determined by your actions.