Tag: Lessons

Hair Goals

Hair takes a long time to get done, thankful for Podcasts!

Things I am discovering about myself and my hair:

1. I am determined to complete this transition to natural hair.

2. I look up to the hills, from whence doth my willpower come? (Number 1 above is due to the fact that I have announced it to the world through my blog, that I am transitioning to natchee.)

3. Finger-Detangling hair is so good for the muscles of the upper limb, talk about tone!

4. I am not a hair person: I’d rather have another person do my hair than do it by myself. (Hair takes a long time to get done, thankful for Podcasts!)

5. Why am I not a hair person?

6. Going natural is cost effective in the long run. Realistically, a clarifying shampoo, cheap conditioner, water and shea butter/coconut oil are all the ingredients I will need to maintain a healthy head of hair.

7. Don’t touch your hair when you are not in a good mood: this is a cardinal rule.

8. Sticks and stones may break my bones but twists will never hurt me.

9. I must continue to do everything in my power to keep my hair stretched out at all times.

10. Trim: what is dead needs to be cut off and discarded.

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Happy Birthday Bro

It was Nnanna’s birthday yesterday, you see, he is my favourite person in this world. We grew up together in the same houses. Nnanna and I are siblings: Brother and Sister. Over the years I have learnt so much from my brother, one day he tweeted “I am not your role model” and it got me thinking about the way we live our lives as model children, poster children for good upbringing, home training and manners especially in our social media world. That tweet made me recoil, at first it was “what is this boy saying?! Doesn’t he know that he is expected to be a good kid? That being a good kid must mean that he is a role model?” Later it was, “This role model banter is really stifling, ‘Big Brother’ is watching kind of stifling. One cannot simply drink water and drop cup because one KNOWS that the world is watching. Which kind of Orwellian wahala?” So I came to see where my brother was coming from when he made the tweet and my heart opened up to the option of a new alternative.

Let me talk a little bit about privilege: Due to the way my parents and role models brought me up, I think anybody who has any kind of privilege e.g. Good education, etc. has a responsibility to use their privilege-given access to help out in some way, even if it means simply showing a good example by living an honest life, you know, just to demonstrate to others that having privilege means that you must live an honest life. You follow? So this my perspective on how a privileged life must be led, albeit naive, is what I tried to practice and even standardized for others like Nnanna to live by, hence my initial reaction.

A bit of background: My family is Nigerian, Christian, and Educated. The Holy Book has codified the way we as Christians should live our lives and an important aspect of this is excellence. Bible says we are heirs of the father, we are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, we are wonderfully and fearfully made, we have been called by the father etc. For my Nigerian Christian family, this means that in the lives we live we must portray the word of God as a way of evangelism which can also be seen as being role models to others that are not yet saved. In practice, we must do well in school, always show respect to everyone, don’t fight, don’t fornicate, clubbing? What is a club? Smoking? If you must smoke do it secretly because it is not a good look as a child from a Christian background and the list goes on and on. It is what I will call Church Culture: this is a consciousness that is cultivated in the minds of Christian children from a very young age, to live by example. I don’t think these rules are bad, instead I think they help to breed adults that end up living in a bubble at best and at worst, being extremely judgmental of everybody else that strays from Church Culture.

My brother has taught me that being who you are by just living your life is the way to go. It is better to be your modest, humble, brilliant self than to be all these things just for the approval. It is best to live your life and know that you are attracting the people who really like you for who you are, than to live in the gaze of those watching out for when you make a mistake. Nnanna showed me that it shouldn’t be that difficult to occupy my space in this world, people will eventually be fine. More importantly, I am accepting that it is ill advised to change with the weather ever so often, for the sake of pleasing people. We are young, intelligent, beautiful and handsome individuals, we are also prone to making mistakes and we mustn’t always judge ourselves harshly. I hope this post makes you think about image and lifestyle and all that good stuff!

John 14:15  “If you love me you will keep my commandments”.

 

Back To Class

I have to get up for Class today.

PAUL K. AMAYO

These days, I wake up very early every morning, wondering where I missed it, if I missed it. How I missed it, why I missed it. What did I do that I shouldn’t have done, what can I do that should have been done. I buffer through each day, never truly feeling like I lived. I had a dream, have a dream. A plan and a time frame but somehow, I think I missed it. Or haven’t I? Year after year, the resilience I show can be commendable but it ends, thus far, the same way, with Hope.

Don’t get me wrong, I love hope! I love to hope and I pray we all have the right amount of Hope. That’s it, the right amount of Hope because too much can be bad….right? Well I dunno because Romans 4 vs 18 clearly says “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became…” So still, I wonder,  is this how it’s meant to be? Am I still strong enough to weather these storms or have I misinterpreted the message. Did I follow passion over purpose or are they fused together as they should be, working hand in hand for that Glorious Destiny?

I heard a great man say journey to any destination, not the arrival, is where the value lies so could it be that this journey, tough, surprising, often times difficult, is rich in value? I don’t know, really I don’t. The experiences have been crazy and trust me, passion hasn’t always been enough motivation to keep going. Sometimes the reason we continue is because we’ve simply given too much and now we feel we’re owed and deserve something. But I have heard heart breaking life stories. It doesn’t always happen that way.

The rules are different for every player.  It is fair to some, it is inhumane to others and downright indifferent to the rest. It surely surely hasn’t been fair to me, I must say, but who cares?  I don’t! So at the gym the other day I had my now so normal and frequent conversation with myself, the inner man, the Spirit of God residing in me. The harder the force of resistance you pull against,  the stronger you’re meant to become. A 50 KG lifting guy cannot expect to match the 100 KG lifting guy’s punch. They may have the same physical appearance but the structure of the inner muscles have been altered by their experiences.

Their experiences. I remember my Primary 4 class teacher always used to say that experience was the best teacher, he never told me that the classes were forced on us every minute of every day. He never even told me where his office was. I want to see him, Mr Experience, I think I’d like to drop the class. I think I’ve learnt enough. Can I see my score now? It should be high, very high, at least my friends think so. Then again, I think experience, yes, experience taught me that only the examiner can determine your score. Not your friends or family, just the examiner.

So my friends may think “Great Job Man” and the examiner says “Just A Little More” and that is what it is; Just a little more. I wish I learnt how to quit or give up when I was forming habits, I wish someone taught me that.  Sadly, no one did so now I’m this tired person that can’t quit. Maybe I should hope against all Hope and become, like my father, Abraham. Just maybe.  Maybe I should switch before it’s too late, or just maybe the horizon, the new horizon is up ahead, just a little more.

Waiting is a very hard place, and more so if you are not sure of what you are waiting for.

– Paul Amayo 2016

I have so many questions but Experience never answers; it teaches, silently, taking you through each lesson and hoping you don’t ever have to repeat that class because unlike Algebra, you will need each lesson very soon. I have to get up for Class today. I hope I find my rainbow, I hope I smile. I hope it’s a good day in Class. I’m still here, still waiting and wondering, never quitting.

Paul is back to grace the blog with his wisdom on it’s 3rd anniversary.

Thank you very much Paul for being the biggest contributor to this blog thus far and for making the world a better place by using your different talents to inspire us. Never forget, Impossible is Nothing. Keep changing lives.
Your Partner in Blog affairs,
J.