Wetin Dem Talk?

Christiana dream one kind dream last night. Since her mama born am, she don use her eye see different different things for this life wey she never ever talk about, but that was not until yesterday when she use her two legs waka go meet Aunty Counsellor, come open her mouth like pipe wey don burst out water full everywhere.

Inside the dream, person call Ranti, Christiana best friend for this world wey we dey so, tell Ranti say she see where them carry Christiana gist on top WhatsApp group chat, unto say as breeze blow fowl yansh don open and na Christiana be the fowl. Christiana no remember who call Ranti but she know say na Ranti tell am say her story don enter town brekete. Fear catch am.

Christiana jump up from sleep! She wipe her eyes make she dey see clearly. Her mind come dey follow her talk say, inside this Lagos? If people ever know the kind things wey Ranti say dem dey discuss about her for inside the dream? Her own don finish be that na. She dey suspect Aunty Counsellor even though she no tell am the things Ranti talk say those people for the WhatsApp don know about. Even Ranti sef no know those details about her life, upon how dem be like five and six.

Her secrets plenty no be small. She dey fear say na Bobo, her pikin wey never reach six years old, go suffer pass if people ever know about the kind life wey she don live. Christiana no dey fear before because she know say if na in those days when na only she dey, wahala no for dey because, she for don brush anybody wey wan use her eye see dutty but now wey she don born Bobo she no fit do some kind things again. How e go take affect Bobo life for outside? Na the question she come dey always ask herself before she do anything.

Wetin sef? E no get anybody for this life wey holy pass! Na the quarrel wey enter Christiana chest be that. Make anybody come meet me if him know say e no get secret for this world, if all of them talk say they never do anything bad before, make them come face me, water dey comot from Christiana eye as she dey for bed. She dey think am, say if people gather somewhere dey judge am, even if say na for inside dream e take happen, say e must to mean something. Christiana dey confused as to whether or not she go carry this dream go meet Aunty Counsellor, she fit help her understand wetin dey happen to her.

Ah, Bobo don wake.

Bobo enter Christiana bedroom, sidon for corner of the mattress dey look him mama like person wey miss road, sleep still full him eye. Bobo how now? You no fit greet your mama? Christiana ask her pikin. Bobo turn him head face the mirror she hang for the other side of the room, he dey still like wooden image, Bobo no be you I dey talk to? Christiana ask am again. Bobo turn around look him mama for eye, he open mouth and the thing wey follow send electric shock straight to Christiana spinal cord. Bobo ask him mama, wetin dem talk?

Transitioning to Natchee

We live life in phases, after we die our lived lives will consist of our past, present and future. Life is a moving, breathing, feeling thing. Life goes on and on, up and down, back and forth, dips in and comes back out. Life is for living. Life is ALIVE like MR NIGER D! Shout out to you if your name is Uchendu, Ndubuisi, Ndubeze, Nduka or Adindu.

I am transitioning from relaxer to natural hair. Yay me. I know you are familiar with The Natural Hair Movement, oh yes, it is a movement. A whole book (Americanah) was written about it by the mighty Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, that’s how I know you know about it. I call it The Natural Hair Evangelical Movement because of how fervently (expertly and effectively) the gospel of growing and taking care of your hair the way it grows out from your scalp, as a woman of African ancestry, is being spread across all media. Individuals and Big Corporations have even made millions of USDollars from this evangelical movement, as expected of all evangelical movements in our capitalist world. The reason I am “going natural” as they say, is because it makes sense to me to want to nurture my own hair, however stubborn it may be. As you can see, I am drinking serious doses of self-love syrup these days.

I haven’t written in a while, it is because I am currently practicing how to transition from always thinking and writing about the negatives to a healthy balance of always thinking and writing about both the negatives and positives. I found myself becoming a Polemicist and that is not the style I envision for myself so I took a break from blogging to regroup, I apologize.

I am writing about myself, I hardly write about myself o. Lucky you.
The thing about not writing about myself on this blog, it’s not that I haven’t ever written about myself but that when I write on this blog, I am always talking to you my reader. Now, the voice and language I use to talk to my school teachers is different from the voice I use to talk to my friends, which is also different from the voice I use when I’m talking to my siblings, which is also different from the voice I use when I am talking to my parents. This last voice even has its own variations. Why am I telling you all about the intricacies of Jayjeystic’s Soundscape? Well, I am happy to announce that I am transitioning to natchee voice and language on the blog! At least I am considering it. Don’t worry I won’t tamper with the quality of the content, but get ready to meet Ijeoma: She is full of ideas and opinions, wild at heart and carries around a wide imagination in her head.


Natchee – something my friend Dr C. used to call females with natural hair, it means “Natural”.

MR NIGER D – an acronym from Integrated Science class, I met it again in Biology. Please if you remember MR NIGER D, leave a comment telling us what the letters stand for.

Uchendu – Igbo (n): Thoughts of life.

Ndubuisi – Igbo (n): Life is the most important.

Ndubeze – Igbo (n): Life is paramount.

Nduka – Igbo (n): Life is the greatest.

Adindu – Igbo (n): I am alive.

The Christian Fashion Show

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Bola: There’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now

 

Bayo: What is it this time?

 

Bola: It’s about fashion o. You know how I always like to look glam and fresh everywhere I go yeah? Well I recently became a Christian and now I’m scared that I can’t look good anymore

 

Bayo: But why not? What’s the connection?

 

Bola: Haven’t you seen the the way these Christian girls dress? The holier than all of thou style seems to be the standard for a good Christian these days

 

Bayo: Do you mean those girls who usually make Christianity look boring and unattractive with their overflowing, shapeless dresses and permanently covered hair. They don’t even wear jewelry as if it’s biblical not to.

 

Bola: My point exactly! I’m a new Christian but even I know that in Jeremiah 2:32, God found it ridiculous for a woman not to wear jewelry!

 

Bayo: If you know that then I don’t see why you’re worried. God is cool and so is Christianity. If Jesus wasn’t fashionable, why would the soldiers have gambled for pieces of His garment?

 

Bola: But Jesus IS a guy! I’m talking about girls here!

 

Bayo: You know what? I’ve got proof for you that you can be a Christian girl and still look glam like you like to. God wants you to look good. Don’t believe me? Then come May 27th 2017, be at the Christian Fashion Show organized by Love N Grace Events. There’s a Children’s Party by the side so you could bring your little sister along. I even hear that some Law students from the University of Lagos would be gracing the walkway with their catwalk!

 

Bola: Really?! Sounds too good to be true. I’ll definitely be there!

 

The introduction of Akbar Comics: Captain Calabar

The stories are based in Nigeria and the artists are authentically Nigerian…here’s to supporting Nigerian creatives.

Please Donate to Akbar Comics by visiting this Kickstarter link.

Hi friends,
Today I bring you great news, there’s a new comic in town! The stories are based in Nigeria and the artists are authentically Nigerian. They go by the name ‘Akbar Comics’ and they need your money to realize their dream of disrupting the scope of African Pop culture as we know it with their collective artistic genius, they have created a Kickstarter campaign and they have till June the first to meet their goal of crowd-sourcing $$$.
Please keep on reading this post to learn more about the guys behind Akbar Comics and to peruse characters from their debut release titled CAPTAIN CALABAR. Here’s to supporting Nigerian creatives.
– Jayjeystic

The year is two thousand and thirteen, the location is Covenant University, Ota, Ogun State Nigeria. A group of teenage boys, some fresh out of secondary school, have just been sorted to the same room in one of the male hostels in campus. The algorithm that put them together is a small but important stroke in the grand scheme of things. They are not just roommates, they each become their brother’s keeper and evolve into the lifelong friends destiny predisposed them to be. Time will unveil them as a gifted trio from the Department of Architecture. With a holy combination of mad skills, hard work, and a shared love for cartoons, they birth the new anti-hero: Captain Calabar. They have great dreams of changing the landscape of African pop culture through the utilization of their natural talents in telling the stories of modern day Nigeria.

Meet Timehin Akinde 

Timehin Akinde Akbar comics
Timehin Akinde, Akbar comics

Timehin is a simple guy, you will find him anywhere near chill vibes and Palm trees. He is one of the two initial founders of and the creative writer at Akbar Comics, he also coined the name ‘Captain Calabar’ as a testament to the popular Nigerian stereotype of assuming that anybody from the Efik/Ibibio speaking South-South sub-region of Nigeria is from CALABAR.

 Calabar (also referred to as “Canaan City”) is a city in Cross River State, in south southern Nigeria.

Many moons ago, in the small dorm room occupied by a tight circle of friends, Timehin nicknamed his friend Joshua Akpan Captain Calabar”.

Meet Joshua Akpan

Joshua Akpan, Akbar Comics
Joshua Akpan, Akbar Comics

Even though he is from Akwa Ibom State, his squad quickly took to calling him Captain Calabar. Joshua is a talented Artist who loves Bob Marley and Kendrick Lamar. He is a trained Architect, works as an illustrator, and is one of the three initial founders of Akbar Arts

The original name for Calabar was Akwa Akpa, from the Efik language.

He joined his friend Abasido Akpan in Akbar Comics. 

Meet Abasido Akpan

Abasido Akpan, Akbar Comics
Abasido Akpan, Akbar Comics

Abasido is also from Akwa Ibom State in Nigeria, he is the visionary behind Akbar Arts, an illustrator, and a business man with a great sense of humour. Abasido has been described as “a really really good artist” by some of his friends, probably because he is known to give beards to the beardless in his cartoons. Abasido A.K.A Akbar pushed his art under Akbar Arts before he came up with the idea for Akbar Comics as a subsidiary of Akbar Arts in July of two thousand and sixteen.

Calabar is a port city, near the Cameroon border. It sits on a hill near the Calabar River and the Cross River delta.

Timehin in telling the story of Akbar Comics had this to say about Abasido’s pivotal role:

“Then one day Abasido hit me up and was like let’s make something with this, initially it was supposed to be an animation but making a comic is easier. So long story short, we’ve been friends since and broke-ness forced us to come up with the idea! (laughter)”

-timehin akinde, akbar comics


Meet Some Of The Characters:

Image-1
Akbar Comics, Captain Calabar #1 AUG 2017
Akbar Comics: Captain Calabar: Adewale Ogunjobi
Name: Adewale Ogunjobi aka Dr. Ken Abilities: Complete mastery of the spiritual arts (Babalawo settings). Direct descendant of Ogun. Immortal.
Captain Calabar - Akbar Comics
Name: Anwang John-Bassey aka Captain Calabar Abilities: Superhuman strength, flight and invulnerability given to him by the Ekpe spirit.
Akbar Comics: Captain Calabar: Lanre Williams
Name: Lanre Williams Abilities: Computer genius, ex-yahoo boy with an encyclopedic knowledge of the Nigerian underground scene.
Akbar Comics; Captain Calabar
Captain Calabar derives his powers from his tattoos written in the Nsibidi script, a language similar to hieroglyphics invented by the Ekpe tribe.
Akbar Comics: Captain Calabar: Shalewa
Name: Shalewa. Abilities: Proficient in the art of underwater warfare (mami water levels). Lieutenant of Karishika’s army. Underground Runz Girl


Please don’t forget that Captain Calabar needs our help, you can donate by clicking me or by sharing this post.

Diary – IJEOMA W.

Ijeoma shares a story of her family, values, and how she has incorporated higher education as self development in her life’s journey with online learning tools.

4TH MAY 2017, 12:31 AM

Learning is infinite in my family. We go to school, rest small, and then go back to school.

My mommy once said to me “You know in this family we are not traders or “business people”, what we do is book, so please read.” Both my parents have at different points in their lives studied for six degrees (combined), including professional certificate examinations. I have known about online education for a hot while now, at a point when I was in secondary school the dinning table in my house was practically a satellite university campus because my daddy was taking a Master’s degree program from a foreign university via the internet. Last year my Uncle Roman Oseghale graduated from the prestigious Telfer School of Management and Centre for Executive Leadership, University of Ottawa, Canada and last week he was the 8th speaker at The Platform. Essentially, “Book” is central to who I am becoming because my role models figuratively said so.

I took my first online course before I turned 18. The thing about having access and privilege is that if you don’t use it, it would have been a waste. On a rather uneventful day in my dorm room (shouts out to Manuwa Hall, University of Nigeria Enugu Campus), I had the opportunity of stumbling upon this website called COURSERA DOT ORG and I became very interested in learning what I was being taught in the classroom by myself, at least the courses I could find, so I started taking online courses that mirrored what my lecturers were teaching me in the classroom.

Part of it I will attribute to sheer curiosity. Coursera offered courses from Universities I could only dream about at the time, the first one I chose (and completed) was by Duke University, my friend Sanmi Oyenuga was studying Engineering there, I wanted to know what being a student at Duke felt like so I stayed up all night, having physically attended lectures during the day, learning and watching all these free lecture videos on my HP laptop with reliable internet courtesy of the “Lionet @ Manuwa” router that was conveniently mounted very close to the Mango tree whose leaves I could pluck if I put my hand through the pigeonhole in front of my room. The WiFi was strongest at night (back when Lionet was still Lionet, oh the sweet memories).

The internet has been good to me. So far, I have expanded my knowledge base and I am open to learning more about the world around me. I have started this free Bioethics course by Harvard University on edX.org today. It started in April, slated to end in October. I hope I finish it within the stipulated 7 weeks at a personal pace of 2 to 3 hours of study per week. Where I’m from, they measure accomplishments based on how much “Book” you know and how many lives you use your knowledge of “Book” to change for the better. I figured, I have unlimited internet data and I want to be successful in my village so why not take a course? On the 25th of April I watched a movie: “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”, based on a book of same name credited to the incredible medical investigative journalist, Rebecca Skloot, two days ago my Americanah friend Ayi Daniels reminded me of the uproar that is Roe vs Wade and today I signed up for Professor Cohen and the team at HarvardX to school me on Medical Ethics, a course my lecturers have previously taught me in class, just because life is all about patterns, haha.

Thanks for reading to the end, buy yourself a bottle of Fanta!


Originally Posted On Facebook.

Diary – PAUL Amayo

 Introducing Diary; Paul Amayo talks about his lived experience and stumbling upon inspiration from God through the Bible and Priming a faulty pumping  machine.

19 APRIL 2017, 12:55 AM

I learnt something new today, it is called Priming.
So, I moved into this new place last December, I have a family of three living right above me and a single man just beside me. I like to keep to myself, a lot. I never really interact with them but I do take notice of behavioural patterns, the kids play from dusk till dawn and they seem never to tire. The other single man living behind me strikes me as a retired military personnel because of his physique and he’s always up to something: fixing his gen, his door, anything really. Living in Nigeria where there’s no constant power supply, we always have to be alert when it comes to pumping water so we have enough to use daily and he makes it a point of duty to always be the first to reach the pumping machine when power comes on. Every now and then, I try to make sure I get to the pumping machine before he does, just to show that I also care about everyone. For me, it isn’t a difficult job, it is basically  turning on a switch and walking away and remembering that when the tank gets full it starts to overflow, I walk back, turn it off, and that’s it, my job is done and I’m a good neighbour! I never thought there was anything more to pumping water than that. I mean think of it, what else could there be? The pumping machine does it’s job when prompted, right? So today my neighbor at the back (military personnel) called me to inform me that he was traveling and seeing as everyone else had traveled for the Easter holidays, it had just been us both in the compound for the past 2 days. He told me that I shouldn’t forget to pump water and then he added that the pumping machine wasn’t working properly because the water down under had dried up a little and the machine needed a little help. I’d have to prime it as he had been doing for the past few weeks, without my knowledge. I’d have to take a bowl of water and pour in down a pipe somewhere in the machine and that aids the pressure problem, the water goes down the hidden pipe and helps the machine to pump normally.  This new found knowledge really got me thinking, how many of us are desperately​ in need of some priming? Maybe not us, but how about those around us? How often do we say:
“She’s a strong girl!”
OR

“He’s surely doing okay and he probably doesn’t even need my help.”

Priming.
Galatians chapter 6 verse 2 says “Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the Law of Christ.” We are to prime others! Be a shoulder to lean on, even for the seemingly strong. Be there for those who never seem like they need anyone. Care for the caregivers amongst us. You never know who needs you to keep on functioning.
Gotta go now, the tank is full and overflowing. Stay primed up!!!


Medical Education – LECTURIO

This post is useful for students in medicine, nursing, and other health sciences, preparing for their board licensing and or certificate examinations.


I want to introduce you to this new resource I have been using. It is called Lecturio and they have been helping me a lot with med school and board exam prep. They have really nice high-yield video lectures from Ivy League professors along with recall questions, and study materials.  LECTURIO is an online audio-visual learning platform specific to MEDICAL EDUCATION. LECTURIO App is available on Android and iOS, with offline access, this is very important because you get to save data you would’ve used if you were streaming all those important videos in your spare time.

Sign up on Lecturio.com and get 25% off!

LECTURIO

To know more about how this platform/app can help you in your medical school journey, please click on this link, you also receive an additional 25% OFF! if you SIGN UP! 


***Please share my Coupon Code: hdSFW with your friends and loved ones in medical school for a chance to get 25% off! 12 months subscription or just copy the link to your browser: http://mbsy.co/hdSFW

Thank you. I wish everyone in this medical school journey all the best in their exam prep and future careers!

Sexy Jesus Freak

What makes us higher animals? Our ability to think of solutions, our ability to reason the way we do and our ability to work in teams+communicate our ideas with each other in sophisticated ways e.g various art forms. In other words, our ability to have conversations that lead to development, our inquisitive nature, and our powerful brains separate us from other vertebrates/mammals.

Yesterday me and my darling friend whose future children will call me nothing but “Mommy Ijey” each sat on both ends of our phones for three hours, talking about this and that. The topic of sexual purity and what it means (or what it should mean) for us young ‘Jesus Freaks’ came up. We concluded that:

Number one: It is a privilege to maintain your sexual purity (as follow come) from the get go, because so many people never had a chance to make that choice due to the inhumane hostility of the environment(s) they found themselves in, so we generally need to quiet down about being sexually pure and basically cut off the noses we tend to turn up at our “sexually impure” brothers and sisters- also what’s it with those shaming exercises carried out in places of worship anyway? I mean those “you had sex and we found out so come out and stand before the congregation, let everybody stare at you with judgement in their eyes” shaming exercises. They need to go.

Number two: That we Jesus Freaks need to stop treating this issue of sexual purity as if it is solely by our power and might that we stay pure and we need to start handing it over to the appropriate authority (Holy Spirit). We are taught to pray about every other area of daily life except the part that has to do with ‘go forth and multiply’. A lot of us have felt the pressure and strain associated with keeping it locked down until marriage and this shouldn’t be so, we agreed that it is not supposed to be so. If you are praying “God help me pass my exams”, don’t hesitate to add “God help me maintain sexual purity”, the Holy Spirit will not say “eww”, I promise. You shouldn’t have to do it on your own when you have Holy Spirit to help you.

Number three: That within our pristine Jesus Freak circles, we have managed to make Sex the biggest elephant that can ever fit into a room. Enough conversations are simply not being had about sex! Jesus Freaks are dying of curiosity meanwhile we are all living, breathing, walking proof of sex happening at some point in history, oh the irony. So we should start talking and asking questions and making this discussion the rule as opposed to the exception, in godly settings of course.

Number four: That sex is neither a bad thing nor an abnormal thing. It is a good thing and it is normal. Simple. Very important: you are not keeping yourself for your future husband or wife but for God. Jesus Freaks of the masculine gender need to desist from making it a topic of amusement and or self/ego aggrandizement, don’t be tempted to conflate sexual purity in this spiritual context, with the machinations with which patriarchy uses to hold women down. Tah! don’t do it!

Number five: That it is possible, Jesus Freaks of the feminine gender, to maintain sexual purity and not gloat/feel superior about it. On the last day nobody will be handing out trophies for “keeping yourself holy”. If you decide to honour God with your sexuality, do just that and keep it moving, you are honouring God and not man/religious leaders. The kingdom of God has other mandates and sex should not be made into an idol, besides babies are very expensive and STDs/STIs are disastrous.

The End.


Jesus Freaks = young people burning for Jesus/following Christ.

Free Books – OkadaBooks


OkadaBooks is a platform for reading books, both free and paid. It all started when the founder, Mr Okechukwu Ofili was having a difficult time pushing his book (How Stupidity Saved My Life) into the market, he got an idea to put his book on Blackberry and make it available to mobile phone users because bookstores were doing shakara for him, so he went into business with a software developer and together they started building the first draft of the app that we know as OkadaBooks. His idea turned out to be perfect.

Fast forward a few years down the line, the mobile book reading app has won an award (MTN 2013 app of the year), it has introduced us to new writers from all over Nigeria like Umari Ayim whose writing style I admire and also writers from other parts of Africa like Nana Kwame Antwi-Boasiako. It has recently published my friend Aanu Elizabeth’s new children’s story book (Hassan, Sope And Evelyn In The Mystery Of The Store Beside The Stairway And Other Stories).

You can Sign Up for the reading experience of your life with OkadaBooks by clicking on my referral link

OkadaBooks is a solution to a problem. We all know of Kindle, Kobo Books, Nook and so on but now we have our very own African OkadaBooks that caters to our need for representation in the world of creative writing, publishing, and reading especially in this social media+mobile device age. The OkadaBooks app is now available on Blackberry (BB10), iOS, Windows and Android operating systems.

Eghosa Imasuen, Fine Boys (As seen on OkadaBooks app for iOS)

I have recommended the OkadaBooks app to some of my friends in the past, Naomi Edor now jokes about my relationship with the founder (or lack thereof, haha!) because of how passionate I am about the success of this book reading app. I first read Eghosa Imasuen’s second novel (Fine Boys) on the OkadaBooks app and I went on to buy the paperback for my brother as a graduation present. Needless to say, I think Eghosa is a brilliant writer and that every Nigerian must read Fine Boys. Who knows, without the OkadaBooks app I may never have come across his work.

You can Sign Up for the reading experience of your life with OkadaBooks by clicking on my referral link, and if you use my link, you will get up to 150:00 NGN in free OkadaBooks credit! What are you waiting for? Jump on the Okada and let your imagination go places. 😃